Monthly Archives: April 2016

BE A SPORT

My Dad is into playing sports like Attila the Hun was into polite political diplomacy. My Dad is into watching sports like Ted Nugent is into vegetarian dinners at a gun control advocate’s house. My Dad was into teaching his … Continue reading

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ROLLER SKATING THE ISSUE

Right before I dig a hole I don’t throw extra dirt in it. Just prior to opening a package I don’t put extra strapping tape all over the box. If I’m going to get undressed for a shower I don’t … Continue reading

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I’M STUFFED

“Do you like… stuff?”  In an awkward attempt to make small talk with a girl he had a crush on, little elementary school-aged paste-eating Ralph Wiggum, in a cringe worthy moment, asked classmate Lisa that exact question in a 23 … Continue reading

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MISS SIP IN AL BILDIN’

Not long after my older sister got married in New York back in the late 1970s (heee hee hee… she’s not just older, she’s just old), I remember going with her to a scary building in an unfamiliar part of … Continue reading

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A TIMELY TAPED TAPE

So a buddy of mine is making one of those birthday tape videos for a mutual friend of ours.  You know what I’m talking about, one of those videos (do we still call it a video even though it is … Continue reading

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